Motherhood is a transformative journey, but it’s also one that demands a profound reckoning with your identity. In this episode of INHABIT with Alessia Citro, Kelly Ann Kirk, host of Reclaiming Your Hue, shares her raw and inspiring story of navigating the “ego death” that comes with motherhood. Together, Alessia and Kelly explore the grief of letting go of your pre-motherhood self, the challenges of balancing career and family, and the spiritual growth that emerges from embracing this new chapter.

If you’ve ever felt lost in the transition to motherhood or struggled to reconcile your old identity with your new one, this episode is for you. Kelly’s insights on faith, mental health, and personal growth will leave you feeling seen, validated, and inspired to thrive in your evolving role.

What Is Ego Death in Motherhood?

Motherhood is often romanticized as a joyful, fulfilling experience—and while it is, it’s also a time of immense change. For many women, becoming a mother feels like an “ego death,” a term that describes the process of shedding your old identity to make space for a new one.

As Kelly explains, “I was gripping so tightly to my former identity, trying to hold on to who I was before my daughter was born. But I realized that to truly thrive, I had to bless and release that version of myself.” This process of letting go can feel like grief, as you mourn the freedom, independence, and self-image you once had. But it’s also an opportunity for growth and alignment.

The Grief of Letting Go of Your Old Self

Kelly’s story is one that many mothers will resonate with. After the birth of her daughter in 2023, she found herself feeling disconnected from her career in the mortgage industry. Despite her success, she felt a growing misalignment between her professional life and her new role as a mother.

“I felt like I was swimming upstream,” Kelly shares. “I was trying to be the person I was before, but it just wasn’t working anymore. I had to let go of the old me to step into the woman I was becoming.”

This grief is a natural part of the motherhood journey. It’s not just about losing your old self—it’s about reconciling the tension between who you were and who you are now. Alessia adds, “I wish more people talked about this. Every mother I know has gone through a grief journey after having a child. It doesn’t mean you don’t love being a mom—it’s just part of the process.”

Faith, Spiritual Growth, and Reclaiming Your Identity

For Kelly, faith played a pivotal role in navigating this transition. She describes how she leaned into her spirituality to find clarity and purpose. “I realized that getting closer to God was also a way of getting closer to myself,” she says.

Kelly’s journey included moments of deep reflection, like considering a Vipassana silent retreat to reconnect with her inner self. While she ultimately chose a different path, the experience taught her the importance of stillness and introspection. “It’s not about the external labels or achievements—it’s about peeling back the layers and finding your true essence,” she explains.

Alessia echoes this sentiment, noting that motherhood often forces us to confront the “false idols” we worship, like status, money, and titles. “When you strip all of that away, you’re left with your naked soul. And that’s where the real growth happens,” she says.

The Role of Mental Health in Thriving as a Mother

One of the most powerful moments in the episode comes when Alessia shares her own struggles with mental health after becoming a mother. “I had the thought that it would be easier if I just didn’t wake up,” she admits. “It was hard to say that out loud, but I got help, and it made all the difference.”

Kelly and Alessia emphasize the importance of prioritizing mental health during this transformative time. Whether it’s through therapy, faith, or simply asking for help, taking care of your mental well-being is essential. “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” Kelly reminds listeners. “If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t show up fully for your family or your dreams.”

Key Takeaways from the Episode

Here are some of the most impactful lessons from this conversation:

• Ego death is a natural part of motherhood. Letting go of your old identity is necessary to step into your new role.
• Grief is part of the process. It’s okay to mourn the freedom and independence you once had.
• Faith and spirituality can provide clarity. Connecting with your inner self can help you find alignment and purpose.
• Mental health is critical. Don’t be afraid to seek help or take a step back when you need it.
• Growth comes from adversity. As Kelly says, “No mud, no lotus.” The challenges you face can lead to incredible transformation.

How to Reclaim Your Identity and Thrive

If you’re feeling lost in the transition to motherhood, know that you’re not alone. Kelly’s story is a reminder that it’s possible to grieve your old self while embracing the woman you’re becoming. By letting go of ego, prioritizing your mental health, and leaning into your faith, you can reclaim your identity and thrive in every role you inhabit.

As Kelly beautifully puts it, “Motherhood is about more than just surviving—it’s about finding alignment and living with purpose.”

Call-to-Action

Ready to dive deeper into this conversation? Listen to the full episode of INHABIT with Alessia Citro featuring Kelly Ann Kirk (Episode 180) on Apple or via Spotify below, and discover how to navigate the ego death of motherhood with grace and purpose. Don’t forget to share this episode with a fellow mom who needs to hear it, and leave a review to help us reach more listeners!