Are you truly vulnerable, or are you just being transparent? This is a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately, and in Episode 182 of INHABIT, I’m diving deep into the difference between vulnerability and transparency. It’s a distinction I only recently began to understand, but it’s already transforming the way I show up in my relationships, my personal growth, and even my online presence. After attending Rebecca Cafiero‘s Inner Circle Mastermind and learning from Enneagram expert Tracy O’Malley, I realized just how much I’ve been holding back—and I want to share what I’ve learned with you.

Vulnerability vs. Transparency: What’s the Difference?

For a long time, I thought vulnerability and transparency were the same thing. But they’re not. Transparency is when you share something that’s already resolved—something you’ve processed and moved past. Vulnerability, on the other hand, is raw. It’s sharing the messy, potentially unresolved parts of your life that still feel tender or carry shame.

Take my own story with alcohol use disorder. I’m very open about my past struggles, like drinking excessively. That’s transparency—I’ve worked through it, and I’m on the other side. But when I talk about the guilt I still feel from drinking to excess during my daughter’s toddler years—the shame of not being fully present and feeling like a shitty mom—that’s vulnerability. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also where real connection happens.

Why Vulnerability Matters

I used to think being vulnerable made me look weak. (It still feels that way even though I know it’s not true.) But vulnerability is actually a sign of strength. When you share your struggles with the right people, it builds trust and creates deeper connections. It allows others to see your humanity and opens the door for support, understanding, and growth. It lets the light in through the cracks to cast out the darkness.

Here are a few key takeaways I’ve discovered:

• Vulnerability builds trust: When you let people see the real, raw you, it builds connection and strengthens your relationships.
• Transparency is safe, but vulnerability is transformative: Transparency is important, but it doesn’t create the same level of connection as vulnerability.
• Vulnerability requires courage: Admitting you need help or don’t have all the answers isn’t easy, but it’s the first step toward real growth.

How I’m Learning to Embrace Vulnerability

If you’re like me, vulnerability doesn’t come naturally. But I’m working on it, and here’s what’s helping me:

1. Starting with My Inner Circle

I’ve been asking myself: Am I being vulnerable with the people closest to me? It’s not easy, but I’m learning to share my struggles with and ask for support from those I trust most.

2. Knowing the Difference Between Scars and Wounds

I’ve heard it said that you should “share from scars, not scabs or bleeding wounds.” Vulnerability doesn’t mean oversharing or seeking attention—it’s about being honest in a way that fosters connection.

3. Challenging My Fear of Weakness

I hate feeling weak, but I’m realizing that true strength lies in admitting when I need help. It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there.

4. Balancing Vulnerability and Transparency Online

When it comes to social media, I’ve been reflecting on how I show up. I tend to lean toward transparency—sharing lessons I’ve already learned—but I’m working on letting people see the real, raw moments too.

The Power of Vulnerability

I’ll be honest: vulnerability is uncomfortable. After the retreat, I had what I call a “vulnerability hangover.” I opened up about my business struggles during a four-hour car ride with Amanda Walker and Sara Chambers, and it was hard. But it was also freeing. By sharing my struggles (and even crying!!), I allowed them to support me, and I walked away feeling more connected and motivated than ever.

If you’re looking to strengthen your relationships, grow as a leader, or show up more authentically, I encourage you to embrace vulnerability. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Call-to-Action

So, here’s my challenge to you: Reflect on how you’re showing up in your life. Are you being vulnerable with the people who matter most? If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you—DM me and let me know your thoughts. And if you haven’t already, Tracy O’Malley’s Enneagram assessment to better understand yourself and those around you. (I get nothing by sharing this, btw… I just want you to understand where the treasure and landmines are buried within you!) It’s been a game-changer for me out of the gate, and I know it will be for you too.

Listen / Watch the Episode

You can listen on Apple Podcasts or on watch on Spotify below.

This blog post was generated by AI. Want to learn how I do this in 5 minutes or less? I teach this and more in The Audio Authority Blueprint Podcast [Systems Only] program. Click here to learn more.