If you’ve ever felt like networking events are just a sea of business cards and forced smiles, you’re not alone. In this episode of the INHABIT Podcast, I sat down with community-building expert Haley Westfall to uncover the real truth about building community—and why it’s time to stop faking connection. As someone who’s spent years navigating both the corporate world and the entrepreneurial space, I know firsthand how easy it is to fall into the trap of transactional relationships. But as Haley reveals, authentic community isn’t built on surface-level interactions—it’s rooted in intention, service, and genuine connection.

Why “Stop Faking Connection” Matters Now

Let’s be honest: in 2024, everyone claims to be a “community builder.” Social media is flooded with groups, masterminds, and networking events promising connection, but so much of it feels hollow. Haley put it perfectly:

“It’s very trendy now for people to say they’re a community builder, and so there’s a lot of noise. So I would say to you, number one, just start inviting, inviting people in. Don’t overthink what it has to look like.” [28:02]

The truth is, real community can’t be manufactured through clever marketing or a perfectly curated Instagram feed. It’s about showing up, being intentional, and leading with service—not just collecting contacts.

The Pitfalls of Transactional Networking

I’ve been to my fair share of events where the energy is, as Haley calls it, “thirsty.” You know the vibe: everyone’s there to get something, not to give. Haley’s take?

“I never wanna convince anyone, right? When we start getting into that head space where we’re like, well, how am I gonna like convince people that they need this? And I’m like, you’re not. I can’t. No. Don’t convince. I literally cannot. I’m like, it just has to speak for itself.” [14:59]

This mindset shift is crucial. When we approach relationships with an agenda, people can feel it. Instead, Haley encourages us to focus on cultivating roots that run deeper than superficial, transactional interactions.

Building Real Community: What Actually Works

So, how do you move from faking connection to building something real? Haley’s advice is refreshingly simple—and actionable.

1. Lead with Service

Haley’s philosophy is all about putting others first. She’s seen firsthand how leading with service creates exponential growth, both personally and professionally:

“If you’re intentional about cultivating relationships and leading with service first and putting other people first, you will literally be blown away at how that will come back to you tenfold in the growth of your business.” [43:45]

2. Make It Personal

Forget mass emails and generic invites. Haley built her thriving community by extending personal invitations and encouraging members to do the same.

“It literally came from going into places and extending personal invites to people and encouraging people to invite a friend and encouraging them to invite a friend and encouraging them to invite a friend. And then once you get that traction, then you get that snowball effect that will happen.” [29:53]

3. Embrace the Slow Build

Real community doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow, intentional process that requires patience and consistency. Haley reminds us that it’s okay if things start small—what matters is the quality of the relationships you’re building.

4. Stay Aligned and Check In

Haley regularly checks in with herself to make sure her work still feels aligned and fulfilling. She’s not afraid to pivot if something no longer serves her or her community.

“If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no. And being like just really good with that, like feeling really confident in my ability to make those decisions.” [13:41]

Main Takeaways: How to Build Authentic Community

• Lead with service, not self-interest
• Focus on personal, genuine invitations
• Don’t overthink the logistics—just start
• Be patient; real relationships take time
• Regularly check in with yourself and your community’s needs
• Avoid the “noise” and trendiness—stay true to your values

Key Quotes from Haley

• “Go in with the intention of cultivating roots that run deeper than that super superficial kind of transactional interaction.”
• “Don’t convince. I literally cannot. I’m like, it just has to speak for itself.”
• “It’s very trendy now for people to say they’re a community builder, and so there’s a lot of noise.”
• “If you’re intentional about cultivating relationships and leading with service first… you will literally be blown away at how that will come back to you tenfold.”

Why This Matters for Entrepreneurs and Leaders

If you’re building a business, leading a team, or simply craving more meaningful relationships, the message is clear: stop faking connection. The real truth about building community is that it’s messy, slow, and deeply rewarding. It’s about showing up as your authentic self, serving others, and letting go of the need to impress or convince.

When you focus on genuine connection, you’ll not only grow your network—you’ll create a ripple effect that transforms your business and your life.

Ready to Build Real Community?

If you’re tired of surface-level networking and want to experience the power of authentic connection, start today. Reach out to someone you admire, offer to help, or invite a friend to coffee. And if you want more insights like these, be sure to subscribe to the INHABIT Podcast and join our community of intentional leaders and doers.

Let’s stop faking connection and start building something real—together.

Listen to the Full Episode

You can listen to the full episode, 193. Stop Faking Connection: The Real Truth About Building Community with Haley Westfall, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And don’t forget to check out Haley and her upcoming events at haleywestfall.com.

This blog post was generated by AI. Want to learn how I do this in 5 minutes or less? I teach this and more in The Audio Authority Blueprint Podcast [Systems Only] program. Click here to learn more.