Have you ever found yourself stuck in a loop, asking “why me?” over and over, searching for answers that never seem to come? I know I have. That’s why I was so excited to sit down with Marsha Vanwynsberghe—NLP trainer, bestselling author, and host of the Own Your Choices, Own Your Life podcast—for a raw, honest conversation about the radical power of owning your story. In this episode of INHABIT, we dig deep into how letting go of the need for answers and embracing vulnerability can transform even the most painful experiences into fuel for growth, healing, and self-mastery.

Why “Stop Asking Why” Is the Game-Changer

For so many of us, the instinct to ask “why” is almost automatic when life gets hard. But as Marsha shares, this question can keep us trapped in shame, guilt, and victimhood. “Why only matters when you’re moving towards something,” Marsha says. “If you’re just asking why did this happen to me, you’re feeding shame. My life changed when I stopped asking why.”

This episode is a masterclass in reframing your narrative. Marsha’s journey began as a parent facing the heartbreak of teen substance abuse. Instead of letting shame and isolation define her, she chose to share her story—first with other parents, then on stages, and eventually in her bestselling book, When She Stopped Asking Why. Her message is clear: the radical power of owning your story isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about choosing to move forward, even when the path is unclear.

The Hidden Cost of Shame—and How to Break Free

One of the most powerful moments in our conversation was when we discussed the emotional frequency scale. Did you know that shame is the lowest vibration emotion, just above death? “You’re better off being angry than feeling shame,” Marsha explains. “Shame is paralyzing. It keeps you stuck.”

Marsha’s story is a testament to the freedom that comes from vulnerability. By speaking openly about her family’s struggles, she not only began her own healing but also gave others permission to do the same. Vulnerability, she says, is the path to connection and courage. “Allowing yourself to be seen as you are today—that’s true vulnerability.”

How NLP and Subconscious Beliefs Shape Your Reality

A major theme in this episode is the role of subconscious beliefs in shaping our lives. Marsha, an expert in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), breaks down how most of our core beliefs are formed before age eight—and how they can run our lives on autopilot.

“Conscious mind is the goal setter, but the subconscious mind is the goal getter,” Marsha says. “You can work as hard as you want, but if your subconscious doesn’t believe it’s possible, you’ll keep hitting the same wall.” This insight is a game-changer for anyone feeling stuck, no matter how hard they try.

Masculine vs. Feminine Energy: The Balance You Need

We also dive into the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energy for sustainable growth. For years, Marsha operated in “proving” mode—pushing, hustling, and burning out. It wasn’t until she embraced her feminine energy—creativity, intuition, and the ability to receive—that her business and life truly transformed.

“Masculine and feminine energy go together,” she explains. “You need both. If you only rely on masculine, you’ll burn out. Feminine energy is about receiving, feeling safe, and allowing things to flow.”

Main Takeaways from the Episode

Here are some of the most actionable insights from my conversation with Marsha Vanwynsberghe:

• Stop asking “why me?” and start asking, “What is this teaching me?”
• Vulnerability is the gateway to connection, courage, and healing.
• Shame is the lowest emotional frequency—don’t let it drive your story.
• Your subconscious beliefs, often formed in childhood, shape your reality.
• Balancing masculine and feminine energy is essential for sustainable success.
• You don’t need all the answers to move forward—just the willingness to own your story.

Key Quotes from Marsha Vanwynsberghe

• “Why only matters when you’re moving towards something.”
• “Shame is paralyzing. It keeps you stuck.”
• “Allowing yourself to be seen as you are today—that’s true vulnerability.”
• “Conscious mind is the goal setter, but the subconscious mind is the goal getter.”
• “You need both masculine and feminine energy. If you only rely on masculine, you’ll burn out.”

How to Start Owning Your Story

If you’re ready to step into your power, here’s a simple exercise Marsha recommends: Visualize what being outspoken and authentic would look and feel like for you. What would you see, hear, and feel if you were truly owning your story? Start there, and let that vision guide your next steps.

Final Thoughts: The Radical Power of Owning Your Story

The truth is, you don’t need to have it all figured out to start healing or making an impact. The radical power of owning your story lies in your willingness to be seen, to be vulnerable, and to move forward—even when you don’t have all the answers. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a parent, or anyone seeking more confidence and clarity, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you break free from shame and step into your most empowered self.

Ready to rewrite your story? Listen to the full episode on Apple or Spotify, share it with a friend who needs encouragement, and start your journey to self-mastery today.

This blog post was generated by AI. Want to learn how I do this in 5 minutes or less? I teach this and more in The Audio Authority Blueprint Podcast [Systems Only] program. Click here to learn more.